Life is pants.

A ZiLLiON BLiNK ViDEOS PLiX ....what....

2006-08-01T05:34:07Z

~~Yo.~~

I've been youtube-ing it up good lately, and here's what I've found:

1. Some 3-part thing about Tom and Mark's home towns and their teenage years

Part #1
Part #2
Part #3

2. My favorite videos of Blink:

#1 - the "I'm Gay" song =]
#2 - Tom's guitar smashing
#3 - Mad TV skit
#4 - in the van of the Mad Overboard video
#5 (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) - Blink on MTV's "Album Launch"
#6 - Mark being... Mark

FAVORITE...EST! - this one

3. Riding In Vans With Boys videos (behind the scenes kinda stuff)

#1 - MTV's "How To Live On Tour"
#2 (1) (2) (3) - Diary of Blink-182/Green Day

4. More pointless videos:

#1 - Behind the scenes of the First Date video
#2 (1) (2) (3) - MTV Music Diary
#3 - HOLY SHIT LOOK AT TOM'S HAIR
#4 - WTF is Mark doing...
#5 - Tom is such a dork
#6 - Making of the Josie video
#7 (1) (2) (3) - Blink on MTV "Jammed"
#8 -TOYPAJ promo commercial
#9 - just them being retarded as usual
#10 (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) - a blink show at SOMA back in '95
#11 - "When You Fucked Grandpa" live
#12 - Mark WITH A BEARD playing acoustic songs in his own ...special... way
#13 - I fucking HEART Mark's house (MTV Cribs)

5. And last but not least, a video not to watch if you're feeling sentimental (cuz it actually made me sad), and blink's LAST SHOW:

"Mark and Tom"
Blink's last show: a medley switching from Dumpweed to M+M's to Josie to Man Overboard and then back to Dumpweed

killthemoonkeys @ 2006-07-13T23:10:00

2006-07-14T04:11:19Z

A Magical Day To Lick

John stepped friskily out into the turbulent sunshine, and admired Alicia's boobie. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a melodic sight."

Alicia climbed off the hair and walked sadly across the grass to greet her lover. John patted Alicia on the lips and then tried to lick her orgasmicly, but without success.

"That's all right," Alicia said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not orgasmic," John. "Not as orgasmic as the time we licked in a field of daisies."

Alicia nodded happily. "We were freakish back in those days."

"Our bootys were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," John said. "Everything seems fucked up and green when you're young."

"Of course," Alicia said. "But now we're sexy, we can still have fun. If we go about it angrily."

"Angrily?" John said . "But how?"

"With this," Alicia said and held out a hella mustard. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."

John swallowed the mustard at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to lick angrily. They licked like an old man who just shit all over himself. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Roflmfao... XD

2006-07-14T04:05:47Z

A Carmel Apple In Time

On a crazy and orgasmic morning, Alicia sat on the toilet. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her penis ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect John to love someone with a wet vagina?

Slowly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a frisky sexy orange soda, all on a summer's day. I wish my John would kick me, in his own sex-tastic way..."

"Do you?" John sat down beside Alicia and put his hand on Alicia's nutsack. "I think that could be arranged."

Alicia gasped cautiously. "But what about my wet vagina?"

"I like it," John said intensely. "I think it's sexual."

They came together and their kiss was like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

"I love you," Alicia said sloppily.

"I love you too," John replied and spanked her.

They bought a monkey, moved in together, and lived hurriedly ever after.

An Indefinite Hiatus

2006-07-09T23:25:42Z

Title:An Indefinite Hiatus
Author: killthemoonkeys
Pairing:Tom/Mark
Rating:Mature
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: This story was based on real events, but completely NOT TRUE other than that (as far as I know anyway). Tom and Mark are most probably not homosexuals, and I do not own Blink-182 or the naughty things they do.
Dedication: ahi182, _yoplait, sup_hottie_, obviouslytomark, & condor_avenue for commenting last chapter. Thanks guys! :]
Note: Tom is shouting things in this chapter because I just watched 40 Year Old Virgin (great movie) and let’s just say that Steve Corell… got to me. :D

An Indefinite Hiatus

“Caught”

~*~

I sigh and look over at the now sleeping Mark Hoppus lying next to me.

We just spent 3/4 of the night rolling around on top of each other…

What a perfect way to start off a tour.

~*~

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

|| June 26, 2004 ||

“Tom DeLonge, do not pick your nose in front of 50 million people!” I shout into my microphone as I smirk over at him messing with his nose for some reason.

“I AM ADORABLE!” he hollers back into his own mic, humping the air and rubbing his hands all over himself as his Gibson bounces helplessly against his body.

“That you are, my friend,” I say, now beginning to once again run my pick over the strings of my bass guitar. “And so am I. We all know that.”

“Yes we do. And now I’m playing the next song,” he grins to the crowd full of our fans as he strikes the first two chords of All The Small Things, causing them to cheer three times louder.

We were already playing the last song of the last show of our tour, in the San Bernardino Hyundai Pavilion, to one of the craziest group of fans that we’ve ever had. There have been at least 12 bras thrown up here already.

I listen to Tom’s voice echo throughout the pavilion as I smile to myself about our last month on tour. Every night Tom and I were alone in our tour bus, just joking around, playing music, and doing whatever we wanted with each other. All I can say is this: best tour ever.

I just wish it wouldn’t be over so soon…

“The night will go on, the night will go on, my little windmill…” Tom and I conclude the song and shout our thank-yous and good-byes to our fans before exiting the stage with Travis.

“I must say we are amazing,” Travis greets Tom and I with a smirk as we de-instrument ourselves and head for the practice rooms behind the stage.

“I AM IRON MAN!” Tom shouts to the ceiling as we continue to walk.

I can’t help but laugh at him. “Tom, how many Red Bulls did you drink tonight?”

“Like eighty-five,” he giggles.

“AFTER PARTY!” Tony Kanal bellows as he bursts through the No Doubt practice room holding a full bottle of rum in each hand, followed by Adrian Young.

“Rum? Come on dude, that’s weak!” I say to him while Tom, Travis, and I push our way into the room.

“AFTER PARTY!” we are welcomed as the entire crew and all the band members as each simultaneously hold up a shot glass.

Tom and I look at each other with smirks. “Our after party can wait till later,” I whisper into his ear before we both join the party.

~*~

I can’t help but smirk to myself as I watch Tom stumbling around in front of me, trying so hard not to fall over as he makes his way up to my front door. Long story short: Tom’s a cheap drunk. I, however, am completely sober. I promised Tom years ago that I wouldn’t drink anymore because of one certain occasion; I had gotten hammered one night and ended up beating the shit out of him.

I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

“Marrrrrrkussssss,” Tom sings to himself, leaning against my door as I continue walking up the paved path leading to it. “I’m tie-errrrrrrrrd.”

“Well you should be,” I say to him while sticking my key into the door’s lock to open the door. “You drank about a whole bottle of rum all by yourself.”

“I hafta peeee!” he squeals as soon as I unlock and open the door, pushing past me and sprinting to the nearest bathroom.

I grin to myself as I watch him, then set my keys on the kitchen counter and head down the hallway to my bedroom.

I doubt Tom will even wanna do anything tonight, I think to myself as I remove my Atticus t-shirt and fall back onto my bead. He’s drunk off his ass AGAIN.

It seems like now all Tom and I do is he gets drunk or we have sex. I mean, not that I don’t like that or anything… I just kinda miss the good old days where we’d have to sneak a kiss in every once in a while, and that’s all we ever got to do. Now it’s just too damn easy. All we have to do is tell our wives, who are currently having a “lady’s weekend out” and won’t be back for a few days, that we have some work to do or some party to go to or whatever. It’s creepily easy.

“GODZILLA!” I hear Tom’s voice shouting and I lift my head up from the comforter to see him flying through the air at me, right before he lands right on top of me.

“Oh!” I grunt and Tom looks up at me with a smirk. “You just landed like… completely on my nuts, you bastard!” I holler at him, but seeing his trademark grin makes me unable to stop my own sneer.

“Would you like me to massage them for you?” he asks innocently.

“You are like… non-stop horny, aren’t you?” I smirk at him.

He looks around as if deciding before answering with a: “Pretty mush, yeah.” I laugh at him and he stares at me. “What?”

“Well I believe you just said ‘pretty mush’,” I say to him.

“Oh yeah? Well take this!” And with that, Tom leaps up from the bed and springs out of the bedroom.

“What the hell…” I say to myself, laying my head against the mattress again and smiling at the thought of what Tom might be doing. And only a minute or two later, he returns.

“WAH-LAHHH!” he shrieks, striking a ballet pose and pointing to his slightly sweaty t-shirt. The once plain white-ness now had scribbled on it in messy black letters ‘Horny Man!’ with the Superman sign underneath it. Only… it was an ‘H’ instead of an ‘S’.

“You have got to be the weirdest person I know,” I inform him in between laughs.

“But I’m the sexiest too, right?” he says whilst jumping into bed next to me.

“By far.”

“Is my hair cute?”

“Oh yes.”

“Are my eyes a gorgeous chocolatey brown?”

“Ye…yes.”

“Do my sweet gangly legs make me look graceful like a swan?”

“I-I guess s-”

“And do my cute little round butt cheeks make you wanna just squeeze ‘em!?”

“Dude! Chill out!” I say to him while trying not to laugh.

“OH I’m SO tired!” he whines, grabbing a pillow and holding it over his face.

Dang…

“You wanna just wait till tomorrow to… you know,” I suggest, gazing at him hiding his face.

“HAVE SEX!?” he shrieks, removing the pillow from his face and looking at me with bulging eyes.

I laugh at him and his eye-bulgy-ness. “Yeah.”

“If you don’t mind,” he says, now getting more serious. “And just to make it up for you, it can be your turn tomorrow!”

I smirk at him. “I think you like it better when it’s MY turn.”

“Maybe I do,” he sneers back, rolling over onto his stomach and burying his face in the pillows while kicking off his shoes.

“Alright…” I say, pulling the cover over both of us and then taking off my shoes as well. “Tomorrow then.”

“It’s a date.”

“A sexual date.”

“A sex-tastic rendezvous!”

“…I didn’t know you knew big words like that.”

“A sexually sexy sex-tastic sex-filled sexiness of sex town… date!”

“Tom!”

“Tom! I mean-Mark!”

“Go to sleep.”

“Right.”

~*~

“Rise and shine, little buddy!” Tom’s singsong voice floats through the air to wake me. “Ah made joo some BAH-KON!”

Aw… shit. Is he still drunk?

I raise my head from my pillow and gaze over to see him in Skye’s apron holding up a plate full of bacon, equipped with oven mitts and a devious grin. “I love bacon!” I say, sitting up and running my hands through my hair before stretching.

“Yeah I know. That’s why I made it,” he smirks at me, placing himself on the edge of the bed and stuffing a piece of bacon into my mouth. “Eat up little piggy!” he squeals.

I finish my bacon and smirk at him. “YOU are the piggy!” I shout, then pull him in quickly for a bacon-y kiss.

“You taste like piggy,” he grins back, setting the plate on my end table and pulling his apron off before returning for our kiss. And just now I realize that both of us have only boxers on.

Here we go again…

“It’s my turn, remember?” I smile at him after I had flipped him onto his back and was lying on top.

“Why do you think I’m half naked?” he sneers.

I reach over to the end table and pull a bottle of lube out from the drawers. Tom wiggles out of boredom underneath me while I apply the bottle’s containments to myself, then decides to remove our boxers.

“A little help here,” he smiles to himself whilst trying to remove my undergarments. After adjusting my weight some, he finally manages to get them off and I position myself on top of him. “DAMMIT Markus, just do it!” he shouts, smirking in excitement.

“Temper, temper,” I grin back, and then slowly push myself inside him.

Just as my name slips out of his mouth in the form of a soft moan, a voice materializes from behind.

“What the FUCK is going on here!?”

Tom and I gasp and turn to see what the voice had come from.

Skye. AND Jen. Looking like they just saw their husbands fucking each other.

Oh God, please no…

[end]

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

Please review and give me any suggestions if you have any.

~*~

Next Chapter:

“I Guess We Say Goodbye”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

© - 2006 - KillTHEmoOnkeys - All rights reserved.

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An Indefinite Hiatus

2006-07-09T08:22:08Z

Title:An Indefinite Hiatus
Author: killthemoonkeys
Pairing:Tom/Mark
Rating:Mature
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: This story was based on real events, but completely NOT TRUE other than that (as far as I know anyway). Tom and Mark are most probably not homosexuals, and I do not own Blink-182 or the naughty things they do.

An Indefinite Hiatus

“And So Begins Another Tour”

~*~

”I’m in love with you,” Tom finally confesses.

I smile at him. Now I know the feeling’s mutual.

~*~

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

|| May 28, 2004 ||

“I call top bunk!” I squeal with a smile on my face as Mark pushes his way through the tour bus’s door.

“No, you got top last time!” he shouts back, running over to me and gabbing me from behind to stop me from climbing into the bunk.

I begin giggling wildly. “Yeah, but you got top last night,” I comeback in a hushed voice.

Mark looks around at the door with a smirk on his face to make sure no one had overheard what I said. “Come on,” he begs as I still continue to snicker to myself.

“Marky,” I giggle as he struggles to pull me away from the bunk, “you are so… voluptuous.”

He laughs slightly before replying. “I know that Thomas, but we can’t do stuff like this right now.”

“Why?” I whine, pulling from his grasp and turning to face him.

“Because Rick and everyone else are right outside the bus,” Mark protests, though he still has a smile on his face.

I smirk at him, but don’t reply. Before he can say another word, I press my lips against his and pin him to the bus wall so he has no means of escape.

“Tom—” his objection is silenced as I once again kiss him. “Why are you so horny all the time?” he smirks after a few moments of us kissing each other. “It’s like you’re constantly drugged up on ecstasy or something. I mean, it’s abnormal. I’ve never in my life known someone to get a boner every five seconds, even if—” A sharp intake of his own breath stops him from concluding as I slide my hand into his pants. “Tom…”

I smirk slyly at him. “What?”

I see his eyes roll backwards before he closes them and smiles. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

A thump on the step to enter the bus causes me to quickly withdraw my hand from Mark’s pants and a second or two later Rick enters the bus. Luckily he was looking down and not at me being extremely close to Mark.

“Okay guys, it’s all set up,” he says right before looking up. I had quickly hopped into the bunk that I was trying to claim as my own. Rick gives me an odd look. “Are you guys sure you want a joint tour bus this time? I mean, I know last tour we kept getting separated while we were driving and stuff, but that’s no big deal. We managed. Well… I managed,” he says, smiling.

“Yeah, but we figured since there were three tour buses last time cuz of me, Tom, and Travis, then there would be almost the same amount since it’s Blink, No Doubt, and The Living End this time,” Mark explains to Rick.

“But Travis is taking his own tour bus.”

“Yeah we know,” Mark says. “So Tom and I decided to be nice and just share this one instead of troubling you with two very unneeded buses.”

Rick looks around at the bus while making a face like he’s thinking. “Hmm… yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” he says finally, smiling as I poke Mark in the eye from the bunk. “But just remember: I, as your manager, am responsible for keeping you guys sober enough to actually play a show. So… no drunken rampages, okay? And don’t piss Eric Fermann off today. He’s in kind of a pissy mood.”

“OHHH… IIIIIIII… wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener!” I begin to sing from my bunk. Rick makes a disgusted look at me and Mark just laughs.

“Okay… you guys have fun,” Rick smiles and hops out of the bus.

I begin laughing as soon as Rick had left my eyesight. “Dude, that was the lamest excuse you’ve ever came up with!” Mark looks up at me with a smirk. “What?” I ask, not being able to help but smirk back.

“We just got away with sharing a bus together.”

~*~

“Okay, okay. Check this out,” I say to Mark. He and I are both sitting in the bus’s ‘living room,’ each with an acoustic guitar in hand, me playing him the riff I just came up with.

He nods his head while listening to it, smiling when I’m finished. “I laff eet,” he says, strumming his own instrument.

I laugh at him. “What?”

“I laff eet,” he repeats, his smirk growing wider.

“You vant some popped corn?” I ask him in the same accent that he was using, flinging my half-filled bag of popcorn at his head. He punches the bag back at me right before it hits him, causing popcorn to scatter all over us, the couches, and the bus floor.

I giggle at him, “You little jerk. Off. Yeah, I called you a jerk-off!”

Mark narrows his eyes and sets his guitar against the wall next to the couch. “Oh you will regret that, little boy. You will,” he threatens, though still smirking.

I open my mouth and make a sound as if I was offended. “Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?” I say, setting my guitar aside as well.

“I gonna jerk you off!” he shouts, grinning and pouncing on me.

“Nooo!” I laugh, wiggling out from underneath him and leaping down the tiny hallway and into the bedroom at the end. Well, if you could even call it a bedroom. It’s basically a bed with walls around it and floor space at the foot of it to enter or exit the room. I spring through the doorframe and fling myself onto the queen-sized bed.

I sit up to find Mark sitting on the floor and grinning to himself. Smirking back, I pull my plain white T-shirt over my head and gaze at him. Biting his lip to stop his smile from growing too wide, Mark stands up and quickly grabs something out of a cabinet in the bathroom before sprinting to my current position.

“Look what I got!” he says to me in a singsong voice once he has placed himself next to me, laying down and holding up a tube of strawberry scented/flavored lubricant.

I can help but laugh at him and his kinkiness and secret preparations for this night.

For about a minute straight.

“Tom,” he says after that minute, laughing now too. “What the hell is so damn funny?”

“OH Mark Hoppus, I love you!” is all I say, taking the tube from his hands and tossing it onto the bed before climbing on top of him. Thankfully he was wearing a button-up shirt; it only took a few seconds to remove.

Our mouths meet in heated excitement as we begin to strip each other slowly, rolling around and taking turns being on top. Once we were fully nude and I was lying underneath Mark, he pauses our little make-out session and smirks at me.

“Slow down, little Thomas,” he says, giving me one more little kiss before sitting up and grabbing the bottle of lube. “You know I like it slow and… sexual.”

I laugh at him again. “Slow!? Yeah right! You like it hard and fast, just like… your dad.”

Mark suppresses his smirk as he begins to squeeze some of the tube’s contents into his open palm. “Ew Tom. Gosh. I mean seriously. Making me think of my dad at a time like this? That’s just UBER wrong.”

“You know what IS wrong…” I say to him, moving my hands down to where his undergarments should be. His smirk surfaces now as his eyes begin to shut.

“Tom…” he whispers.

Knowing what he was referring to, I smile and say: “Oh all right, Marky. But it’s been your turn three times in a row now.”

“I know, I know,” he says, smirking now that he’s gotten his way as he begins to apply the lubricant to himself and a little to me. “But you’re just so damn SEXY!” he adds as he leans back on top of me, kissing me again after speaking.

“Well duh,” I grin back, savoring the feel of his body on top of mine as he rests his head in my neck. “I mean I am Tom DeLonge, after all.”

“Well I heard that all Tom Delonges are sexies.”

“Well someone told me that all Mark Hoppuses need to just shut the hell up and freakin kiss ALL THE DAMN TOM DELONGE SEXIES!”

Mark smirks once again as we resume the make-out session, maneuvering his hand downwards to his lower regions. “You ready?” he whispers into my ear.

I nod slightly and he slowly begins to push himself inside of me. A small moan escapes my lips right before Mark presses his own against them. It only takes a few moments for him to start a steady rhythm of movement. Soon both of us are caught up in nothing but sounds of gratification and the occasional moan of the other’s name.

This epoch of bliss lasts for a nameless amount of time; one hour, two hours… five days, perhaps.

And at the end, all Mark and I can do is smile. Both of us are completely satisfied with tonight’s events: had a going away party, hung out with the other bands, convinced everyone to let us share a tour bus that we will be in together for the next month, and… let’s just say that I got my turn tonight too.

I sigh and look over at the now sleeping Mark Hoppus lying next to me. After laughing slightly while tossing the empty tube of lubricant onto the floor, pull the bed sheet up of Mark and I and lay back down.

I don’t think life could get any better.

I have to most gorgeous man in the world all to myself. And we can do whatever we want together every night for the next 29 days. Plus we just spent 3/4 of the night rolling around on top of each other…

I smile to myself.

What a perfect way to start off a tour…

[end]

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

Please review and give me any suggestions if you have any.

~*~

Next Chapter:

“Caught”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

© -2006 - KillTHEmoOnkeys - All rights reserved.

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killthemoonkeys @ 2006-07-01T19:49:00

2006-07-02T00:53:07Z

Title:Accidents Aren't Always a Bad Thing...
Author: killthemoonkeys
Pairing:Tom/Mark
Rating:PG-13
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: This idea was given to me from My_Blinkrokr, and is written for her by request. I own nothing, this never happened. Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car. Hey - NPH wouldn’t do that.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Accidents Aren’t Always a Bad Thing…

“Prologue - Part Two”

~*~

Mark and I cautiously make our ways up the stairs and down the hallway to Jen’s closed bedroom door.

I open it, and immediately regret doing so.

Jen, on top of some guy - neither clothed - laying in a tangled mess on her bed.

~*~

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’m crying. I never fucking cry.

I was currently seated on my supposed to be girlfriend’s living room couch. Mark is kindly screaming his head off at the man that my supposed to be girlfriend was just cheating on me with. The man being screamed at is trying to persuade Mark that he didn’t know that my supposed to be girlfriend had a boyfriend. And my supposed to be girlfriend was sitting on the couch adjacent to the one I was seated on, angry at me.

“I don’t give a shit if you didn’t know! Get the fuck out of here!” my best friend was chewing out the man. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry before.

At least SOMEONE is loyal and trustworthy.

“Whatever asshole,” the man, who had kindly managed to put his pants back on before this confrontation, says to Mark before storming out of the front door.

“I can’t believe you’d do this, Tom,” Jen says angrily.

“That I’d do this? That I’D do this? What!? Show up an hour or so early to pick you up for a date that I was going to propose to you on!? Is that what I did!?” And I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry before.

Jen looks taken aback and Mark continues to pace around the foyer hallway with his hands folded on top of his head - what he does when he’s angry.

“Propose to me? And we’d be married with what money? You’re fucking poor Tom!” Jen shouts.

“Is this what it’s about? Because I don’t have a lot of money?” I say. “Blink just released its first EP a week ago! We’re gonna make money off of that!”

“You won’t make a dime off of it,” comebacks Jen, her eyes narrow and her tone deep.

“How long have you been cheating on me?” I ask boldly, paying no attention to her comments.

“Why does that matter?”

“Because I want to know how long you’ve been lying to me.”

“A few months.”

“Why stay with me then?” I ask. “If I’m poor and you feel the need to be with someone else, why stay with me?”

Jen opens her mouth and closes it, apparently not knowing what to say.

“Why did you all of a sudden decide to just cheat on me?”

“I don’t know… I was bored I guess.”

“That’s a lame ass excuse,” Mark’s voice insults from somewhere behind.

“Shut up Mark,” Jen shouts, throwing an angry glance at him. “Tom, you never do anything for me, you’re always too busy with your stupid skateboard friends, and you’re constantly out getting drunk or something! How do I know that you’ve never cheated on me!?”

I look her in the eyes. “Because I’m not a dick like that.”

“Fuck you,” Jen says angrily. “And this is probably very obvious, but we’re through.”

How could she have done this to me? I thought the last year and a half was the best time I’ve ever had. How can she just lie like that!? How can you tell someone you love them and do something like… like this. I trusted her. I loved her!

But suddenly nothing matters anymore…

“Well that’s that, then,” I say monotonously, standing up. “Here,” I say again, tossing the roses into Jen’s lap, “happy Valentine’s Day.” Then holding the silver box up to her, I add: “And I’ll save this for someone who will actually stay true to me.” I turn and head towards Mark, who was leaning against the front door with his arms crossed.

“Is that really why you’re going to throw your relationship away, Jen?” Mark asks her, feeling it was time for him to have his opinion voiced. “Because Tom isn’t as wealthy as you’d like him to be?”

“Oh come on, Mark. You know as well as I do that you guys and your stupid band will never make it anywhere,” she replies. “He’s a flat-out loser. You both are.”

“And you’re a fucking slut. Have a good life.”

And with that, Mark Hoppus and I step through my now ex-girlfriend’s door for the last time.

~*~

|| Mark’s POV ||

Ring. Ring. Ring.

I open my eyes groggily and reach over to the end table next to my bed to answer the phone. “Hello?”

“Mark? Are you awake?” an anxious voice floats over the phone line and I recognize it to be Connie DeLonge, Tom’s mother.

“What time is it?” I ask more to myself than Connie.

“Eight thirty. Is Tom with you?”

“What?” I feel a pang of worry in my chest. “Isn’t he at home?”

“No, I haven’t seen him since last night. Oh, now I am worried! I figured he just stayed the night with you or something.”

“No, no… he’s not with me. Last time I saw him was last night, after we got back from Jen’s house I…”

All of the memories from last night suddenly rush back into my head.

“…I made sure he was okay and then I went home,” I finish up slowly, thinking to myself about all of the places Tom could be.

“Okay? What do you mean ‘okay’?” she asks.

“Well… Jen broke up with him last night.” She gasps. “It’s a long story…”

“Well I’m really worried,” Connie says again, her voice slightly shaky. “Do you know anywhere that he could be?”

“I think I might…”

I took me only 5 minutes or so to drive up to where Tom was.

A spot on top of a cliff that overlooked the ocean with just a single tree and a perfect view of the beach below it, and hardly anyone knew about it - or at least no one ever came up there.

It’s our spot.

We go up there when we’re pissed, upset, really happy… whatever. We go there just to talk and be friends, I guess.

And there he is, sitting with his knees to his chest and his head resting on them next to the tree. He was still in his suit, minus the jacket that was thrown on top of his nearby car.

I walk over to him slowly and sit myself down next to him. He looks up at me with swollen, reddened eyes.

I smile at him as he weakly sets his head back down on his knees while still looking at me. “I’m guessing you didn’t sleep?” I ask.

“Why would she do that to me?” he asks in a frail voice.

I laugh lightly at how innocent he looks and wrap my arm around his slumped shoulders. “I don’t know dude. And I’m guessing again that the ‘I don’t even care’ feeling has passed?”

“Yeah,” he somewhat whines, leaning his body weight into me as he buries his head in my shoulder. “I hate this feeling.”

“I know, I know,” I say. “Love hurts, buddy.”

“But why did it have to happen to me?” says Tom, and I can tell he’s starting to cry again.

“I’m sorry, Tom.” We sit in silence for a moment or two before speaking again. “I’m still here for you though.”

Tom and I sit together like this for what seems like hours; me with my arm around him while he clings to me, silently crying… so helpless and miserable.

But I stayed with him through it all.

[end]

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

I’d appreciate any reviews, good or bad.

If you have any suggestions or requests, feel free to tell me.

~*~

Next Chapter:

“Fame & Fortune”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Accidents Aren't Always a Bad Thing...

2006-07-02T00:40:02Z

Title:Accidents Aren't Always a Bad Thing...
Author: killthemoonkeys
Pairing:Tom/Mark
Rating:PG-13
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: This idea was given to me from My_Blinkrokr, and is written for her by request. I own nothing, this never happened. Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car. Hey - NPH wouldn’t do that.

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Accidents Aren’t Always a Bad Thing…

“Prologue - Part One”

~*~

Tom DeLonge had his heart broken by his ex-girlfriend. But once she finds out that his band has become quite wealthy, she will do anything to get him back. Now all Tom wants to do is keep her away.

So what happens when he convinces Mark Hoppus to “pretend” to be gay with him, just to keep Jen away?

An accident.

But they aren’t always a bad thing…

~*~

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

|| February 14, 1994 ||

“Hold this, you fucker!” I smirk at Mark, forcing a bouquet of red roses and a tiny silver box into his arms.

“Tom, how many times are you going to mess with that damn tie?” he asks in a bored tone as he leans against the postered wall of my bedroom. “This has to be at least the fifty millionth time.”

“Come on dude, back off. You know how much this means to me,” I reply, still smiling as I gaze at myself in the mirror.

DAMN I look retarded in a suit.

Tonight I am planning on asking my semi-long-time girlfriend, Jen, to marry me. I figured Valentine’s Day would suit the occasion. Sure, I’m only eighteen, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is. I have the whole thing planned out, too; I meet her at her house at nine o’clock and take her out to eat at this super fancy restaurant down by the beach and ask her to marry me.

Simple enough in my opinion.

Mark, on the other hand, disagrees. I told him my news this morning and asked him to let me borrow his suit. And ever since he came over, all he’s been saying is how I’m making the wrong choice, how I’m too young, blah blah blah. He thinks that just because he’s 21, he knows everything. Well he doesn’t. That douche. I know what I’m doing. Jen loves me; of course she’ll agree!

“Yeah, you’ve told me about a hundred times in the last hour,” Mark says.

“Why aren’t you happy for me?” I ask him, turning to face him and pointing at my newly adjusted tie.

I see a tiny smirk form on Mark’s lips. “You did it completely wrong again,” he says, setting the items in his arms on my bed and stepping over to me to fix my tie. “And it’s because of every reason I’ve told you today,” he answers while his eyes focus on the tie that he is currently undoing.

“We’ve been going out for like a year and a half now.”

“Exactly.”

“What’s wrong with that!?”

“Because, she’s the first serious girlfriend that you’ve ever had,” Mark says, finishing up tying my tie correctly. “How do you know that there aren’t other girls that you’d want to marry?”

“Because I want to marry Jen,” I say stubbornly.

“Whatever. It’s your choice, I can’t make up your mind for you,” Mark defeats himself as he hands me the roses and the box with a smile.

“Aren’t you at least a little happy for me?” I ask him.

“Yeah I’m happy for you, dude. I just don’t want you to get your heart broken by some girl.”

“Aww, how sweet of you Marky,” I joke, pinching his cheek and smirking.

He laughs lightly while slapping my hand away. “You look freaking retarded in a suit, by the way.”

“It’s your suit, Mark.”

“I know, but it looks good on me!” he says, then adds while rubbing his nipples, “I look sexy in everything.”

I laugh at him. “Markus, are you trying to seduce me?”

“What time did you say you were gonna pick up Jen?” he asks, completely ignoring what he just did.

“Nine o’clock.”

~*~ 6:05… 6:32… 6:41… 6:50… 6:53… 6:54… 6:55… 6:55… 6:55…

“Will you stop fidgeting?” Mark says from his spot on the lounge chair in front of the TV as he watches me cross and re-cross my feet multiple times. “And don’t look at the clock every two seconds.”

“I can’t not do it!” I say, bouncing my knees up and down in nervous habit. “I can’t take this waiting! This sucks! I’m so nervous! Why am I so nervous!? I never get nervous! Do you ever get ner-”

“TOM!”

“WHAT!?”

“Do you wanna just go now?”

“Think she’ll mind?”

“Nah, she’s probably waiting for you anyway,” Mark says.

“All right, let’s go then,” I smirk, jumping up from my couch and grabbing my car keys from the end table.

Mark and I head outside to my car and get in, me in the driver’s seat and him in the passenger’s.

“Damn, shit, fuck, cock, ass, dick, piss… poop,” I say, staring straight ahead through the windshield with my hands resting on the steering wheel.

Mark stares at me from the passenger’s seat. “…You okay?” he asks as I start the car and begin driving towards my destination.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I reply in a breathy voice. “I’m just nervous.”

“You are just losing your manly-ness right in front of me, aren’t you?”

“No. A man can be nervous, Mark.”

“Not if their name is Tom.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I read it somewhere. It said all men named ‘Tom’ would be more feminine than most men. It was some kind of horoscope thing. I’m not a Libra, did you know that?”

“Mark, you aren’t helping very much.”

“Well how about this. Okay, one time my family took a vacation down to like… I don’t remember, but anyway-”

Mark proceeded to tell me all about his family’s trip down to somewhere he couldn’t remember and how he got poison ivy in his ass because he wiped himself with a poison ivy leaf like an idiot. This continued for the next 15 minutes that it took to get to Jen’s house. I was only half listening; this is the most nervous I’ve ever been in my life.

“Okay, Mark. You can stop now,” my voice quivers as I smirk timidly at him.

“-and every time I wiped, there would be not only brown, but yellowish stuff too. And then when I-”

“Mark!” I shout. He looks at me with a confused face, obviously oblivious to what I had just said. “We’re here.”

“Oh,” he says plainly as he mimics me and opens the car door to step onto the front lawn of Jennifer Jenkin’s house.

“This is it,” I say to both Mark and myself as I gaze upon Jen’s house, taking a deep breath and running my hands over the suit to make sure there were no wrinkles. “Time to go… propose.”

That sounds so odd coming from me…

Mark and I walk up to the front porch and I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. And again. And again. Still no answer.

Mark looks at me and I at him. “Should I be worried?” I ask him, growing more nervous than I was before.

“I don’t think so,” he replies. “Maybe we should just go in.”

“All right,” I agree and I open the door and step inside, leaving it open for Mark. “Jen?” I call out, that quiver again in my voice. “Hello?”

“Maybe she’s getting ready?” Mark offers his suggestion, looking around at the house. It’s strangely dark in here… There aren’t many lights on.

He and I cautiously make our ways up the stairs and down the hallway to Jen’s… closed… bedroom door. Again an exchange of glances.

Why would the door…?

I open it, and immediately regret doing so.

Jen, on top of some guy - neither clothed - laying in a tangled mess on her bed.

Well there’s a thousand promises shot to Hell…

[end]

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

I’d appreciate any reviews, good or bad.

If you have any suggestions or requests, feel free to tell me.

~*~

Next Chapter:

“Prologue - Part Two”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

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AVA & Plus 44 Songs With Backwards Words

2006-04-11T03:48:14Z

Okay so first of all, thanks to angels_airwaves for this idea. ^^

Here's all of the Angels And Airwaves songs I could find (plus the +44 song) played backwards:

.x. The Adventure
You can hear these words really well if you follow along with the lyrics that angels_airwaves posted.

.x. Good Day
So far from what I listened to, which was about 7 seconds, I could clearly hear Tom say: "Just know this, I fucking hate you." :) Oh well.

.x. The Gift

.x. It Hurts (Demo)

.x. A Little's Enough (Demo)

.x. Take The Stairs (Demo)

.x. Crappy Love Ballad
This doesn't sound like Tom, but hoo kerrz?

.x. Dance With Me (Fudged Up + Demo)
This sounds like shit, cuz I found it all sped up in the first place. :/ Eh...

.x. No It Isn't
Well... let just say Mark sounds a little silly in this. But I agree with condor_avenue, I heard him say something along the lines of "I wanna slit her head off," or something. Creepy...

Hurry up and download these if you want to hear them cuz I can only keep them on the retarded site I uploaded them onto for a week. I'll also be working out the lyrics, so I'll post them once I've figured them out (partially at least).

:)